When the Past Refuses to Let Go

 

When the Past Refuses to Let Go –

A Reflection on My Mother Pattu

– written by Saras Manickam 

After five weeks of sounding like a walking cough machine, I finally had my coffee break today! And not just any coffee break—I paired it with a short story, “My Mother Pattu” (story number four). Managed to finish it in one go before our 8 p.m. Book Club with Jennifer Hu—yes, the Jennifer, a.k.a. Dr. Matthew Leong’s better half. Timing, people. It’s everything – No! Well, guess what?  Saras Manickam appeared at our Book Club Zoom!  I was surprised greatly and happily screamed It’s you, Saras!

In Saras Manickam’s deeply moving short story “My Mother Pattu”, the narrator Lalitha offers readers raw glimpses into the emotional wreckage of her childhood. Two lines in particular left a deep impression on me: “Why do you want to know what is no longer important?” and “There was nothing of my father in me, nothing, for he was not my father.” These words are not merely spoken in bitterness; they are the echoes of years spent in a household where love was absent, and silence was a shield.
 
When Lalitha says, “Why do you want to know what is no longer important?” she is not dismissing the past because it truly holds no weight—she is protecting herself from the pain that memory revives. Sometimes, to move forward, we convince ourselves that our stories no longer matter. Yet the irony lies in the fact that this story is being told. It does matter. Her voice, once silenced, now claims space on the page.
 
Her second statement, “There was nothing of my father in me…”, is even more haunting. Though he lived under the same roof, Lalitha experienced no love, no connection, no legacy from him. A man broken by war and swallowed by silence, he became a distant figure—physically present, emotionally absent. She erases him not out of hatred, but out of self-preservation. In a world where identity is often shaped by bloodlines, Lalitha declares that true fatherhood cannot exist without presence, warmth, and love.
 
Through these lines, Saras Manickam captures the lifelong cost of neglect, trauma, and silence within families. As readers, we are invited not only to witness Lalitha’s pain but also to reflect on the stories we silence within ourselves. This journey between the lines reminds us that healing begins when we are finally ready to speak, even if our voice trembles.

Book Reviewed by Georgia 29 June, 2025